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Writer's pictureJoelle Curtis Wright

What Self-Care Really Means: Building a Life You Don’t Need to Escape From

In today's world, self-care is a term that’s often misunderstood. Many people believe it’s synonymous with pampering activities like bubble baths, spa days, or indulging in comfort foods. While these activities can be enjoyable and even beneficial in moderation, true self-care goes much deeper than temporary relaxation or quick fixes. It’s about making intentional choices that lead to a life you don’t feel the need to constantly escape from.


Brianna Wiest perfectly encapsulates this in her quote:“True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don't need to regularly escape from.”

Let's explore the difference between surface-level self-care and genuine self-care, and how you can build a life that nourishes your well-being in a meaningful way.


Self-Care Is Not Just About Escaping

It's easy to confuse self-care with momentary indulgence. Whether it's binge-watching a favorite show or treating yourself to a slice of cake, these activities offer a quick sense of relief from the daily grind. But when these behaviors become our primary form of self-care, they often act as distractions rather than solutions to deeper, underlying issues.


In essence, these kinds of activities are about escaping. They allow us to temporarily avoid stress, burnout, or the aspects of our lives that make us unhappy. While there's nothing inherently wrong with enjoying these moments, they shouldn’t be the core of how we care for ourselves.


True Self-Care: Building a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life

True self-care requires more than temporary distractions. It asks us to look inward and assess what’s really going on in our lives. Are we overwhelmed by stress because we take on too many responsibilities? Are we feeling stuck in jobs or relationships that drain us? Genuine self-care addresses these questions head-on.


At its heart, self-care is about setting boundaries, creating habits that serve your long-term well-being, and making choices that align with your values and needs. It’s about building a life that supports you—physically, emotionally, and mentally—so that you don’t feel the need to run away from it.

Here are some of the key elements of true self-care:


1. Prioritizing Your Needs

True self-care is about recognizing your needs—whether they are emotional, physical, or spiritual—and giving yourself permission to meet them. This might mean saying “no” to activities or commitments that drain you, even if they’re expected of you. It might mean asking for help, allowing yourself time to rest, or making space for activities that bring you joy and energy.


2. Setting Healthy Boundaries

A crucial aspect of self-care is establishing healthy boundaries with people and situations that cause you stress. If you’re constantly giving to others without taking time for yourself, resentment and burnout can quickly set in. Learning to say “no” when you need to, without guilt, is an essential part of caring for yourself.


3. Embracing Growth and Reflection

Self-care also involves personal growth. It’s about taking time to reflect on what is and isn’t working in your life. Are you in relationships that are nurturing or draining? Are you spending your time in ways that align with your values? Growth may require hard decisions and changes, but it ultimately leads to a more fulfilling, balanced life.


4. Taking Care of Your Health

Prioritizing your physical and mental health is another fundamental aspect of self-care. This can include everything from regular exercise, nourishing your body with healthy food, ensuring you get enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness. Mental health care might involve therapy, journaling, or regular check-ins with yourself to manage stress and emotional well-being.


5. Being Honest With Yourself

Often, we become stuck in unhealthy patterns because we avoid facing certain truths about ourselves or our lives. Self-care involves the willingness to be honest with yourself about what you need to change. Are you overcommitted? Are you in environments that are not good for you? Self-care requires confronting these truths and taking steps toward change.


Building a Life You Don’t Want to Escape From

When we make choices to improve our well-being, we begin to build a life that feels nourishing and sustainable. This doesn’t mean that stress, challenges, or the occasional bad day won’t happen. Life will always have its ups and downs. But when we engage in genuine self-care, we create a foundation that supports us through those difficult times.


True self-care isn't about escaping from your life—it’s about creating a life that feels good to live in. This may mean making tough decisions to align your life with your values. It might involve leaving a toxic job, reassessing your priorities, or confronting difficult emotions. But it’s in making those choices, day by day, that we create a life where we feel nourished, content, and resilient.


Conclusion

While it’s easy to be drawn to the instant relief that activities like salt baths and chocolate cake can provide, it’s important to remember that self-care is about much more than that. True self-care is a practice of intentionally building a life that you don’t need to escape from. It’s about nurturing yourself in ways that foster real growth, emotional well-being, and fulfillment.


By prioritizing your needs, setting boundaries, and being honest with yourself, you can cultivate a life that sustains you. After all, the greatest gift you can give yourself is a life where you feel happy, content, and strong—where self-care is a way of living, not just something you do when you're feeling burned out.

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